This is MY MoMeNt....

I love the movie Annie.  I grew up watching the old version at least once a night.  I was obsessed.  I know every line....every song....every gesture....that is my MOVIE!

So....imagine my pure joy when it was announced that the movie Annie would be remade into a more modern version.  I had no shame singing my heart out with the other kids movie goers.  It was amazing!!!!  But, that's not really why I'm telling you this.

Tonight, whilst (I just love saying that) I was working on some stuff for PDG, I heard a small voice say that 'this IS my moment.'  All of the things on my to do list, the "I'll feel better whens...," the "when this happens, I'll be able to do this or that..."  NONE of that equates to the moment I am in right now!  Isn't it neat how you can have something dropped in your spirit right in the middle of the most mundane tasks?!?

Sure, my moments will come and go.  They will change and evolve, but nothing compares to the time I have been entrusted with right now!

I am notorious for looking towards the next moment.  My organization skills are maddening....everything must be written down.  I live and breathe by the lists that I make.  I do not like surprises, and while I'm not unbending, I try to have as much planned as I can...because I WILL forget.  The downside is that I am always looking towards the next thing.  The next moment....and sometimes, I forget to enjoy and experience the moment that I am in right now!

So.....when I heard that small voice tonight, I was reminded of the scripture that says do not worry about tomorrow, for it will take care of itself....then....I burst into song!  Yep, I sure did!  Because that's how I roll!

And if you too would like to have a singalong, click on the video below!  I promise you it won't disappoint!  This, friends is our moment...it's the opportunity we've been given right now to do something with...

FiFtEeN Things in 2015!!

I have thought about writing so many times.....even opened the app, and attempted to start a new post....

But the thing is.....I have so much to say, yet nothing flows!  So.....what's a girl to do??

I am really good at making lists.....so, that's what I'll do.....I'll make a bucket list for 2015!  And I hope, one day soon...you can stop here with your cup of coffee....kick up your feet, and stay a while...but in the meantime...

15 Things I Want to do in 2015: (in no particular order)

1.  Make it through an entire Pandora rotation without skipping songs.

2.  Cook 10 different recipes from Pinterest....seriously, I have some awesome stuff pinned!

3.  Go on a trip by myself...and not pick up my phone!!!!

4.  Get over all of my 'its'....

5.  Find that waistline from 12th grade....(OK...maybe not that exact one....but come pretty close)

6.  Lie in a truck bed on a summer night, and chat it up with him (I will always be a hopeless romantic)

7.  Promote to Triple Diamond!

8.  Pay off the last of my consumer debt with the exception of my dang student loans!

9.  Be more present. Slow down. Live in the moment. Take it all in. Listen more!

10.  Go to Taste of Texas Restaurant....how have I lived in Houston all this time, and haven't gone yet?!

11.  Get my gun license...

12.  Really try to see everyone the way God sees them....not just the ones I like, and not just the ones that don't get on my nerves...Love folks....afterall, it is what the world needs now...#cheeseball

13.  Be open....open heart, open arms, just let Jesus do His thing in my life, and chill the heck out!

14.  Blog more!  And be real on the blog, (not that I'm ever fake), I just let the fact that folks are up to no good stop me from doing it more often and freely...but I can't control that now can I.....and folks out there need to hear what I have to say (or do they....over analyzing....this is ALL the time....and could probably be a blog post).

15.   Be a better Jarvis! And wear shorts! (I hate my thighs <<< add finding those HS thighs to #5 too!!)

I have loved this little activity....I'm going to print this list, and report back hopefully, having accomplished most or all of them!

Peace...all over the world.....seriously!  <><  ~J

Holy Pause

So...I have pulled this page up numerous times, wanting to share an update, what I have found funny, what I'm learning in my Bible study and quiet time, and all that jazz, but nothing comes to me when I try to write.  NOTHING.

Writing comes very naturally for me.  It is my preferred method of communication.  It's where I am uninhibited, free, transparent, and it's the only way that I can keep up with my rapid moving thoughts.  I don't necessarily write for anyone to read this...in fact, if you read this, we don't have to talk about it.  I just know that I have read some amazing blogs, and perhaps someone, somewhere can pick one or two things from my blog, and you know....contribute to world peace!

But anywho, the other day, I read something, and it resonated with me completely.  You can read the article here:  http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/why-i-quit-depending-on-my-own-plans/

A holy pause.  Which surprisingly, sounds a lot better than waiting.....ha!

I feel like I can do 1000 things, but don't have the 'release' to do any of them.  I feel like the Holy Spirit has shut down every bright idea that I have tried to come up with.  Things that I know God gave me to do originally, but in this season....I have to be still.  And that friends is hard for me.  I like to get things done, contribute, tirelessly serve, but in this season, all I can do is work...but the most important thing I can do during this time, what I've been called to do if you will is get in the word.

And enjoy this holy pause.

Beauty for Ashes

Have you ever felt like something was coming?  Heart racing....eye twitching....kind of anxious...like prom night..butterflies in your tummy...seeing your favorite person on the planet walk through the door something was coming?

I have had this feeling all week, and I can't shake it.  I have no rhyme or reason to feel this way.  My quiet time is still riddled with unanswered prayers, but this time it just feels different.  Something.is.coming!

And I hope it's good.

I read the final sessions of my James bible study this week.....I started January 1st, but when I cracked open that book for the first time, I knew that I would take my time.  I would really meditate on the lessons, and if I knew I wasn't in a place to really inhale and ingest the lessons, I wouldn't force the issue.  You can do that when you are studying alone.  I loved every bit of it.  Every in your face, uncomfortable, love for the poor, love for the weak, love for the sinner, examine your heart, examine your motives minute of it.

However, about the last couple of lessons in James, I could feel God asking me what I would do next.  Which lesson I would embark upon....what I would slough off of myself for the next ...6 months....ha!

I started feeling like getting my house in order...cleaning out closets, drawers, organizing, really taking a good look at my finances, and cutting off the fat, saving more (seriously, who am I), and just getting free.....

So I set out to find the perfect bible study for me.  But more importantly, I asked God to show me what He wanted me to do.  And in true Saviour fashion...He did not disappoint.

I've never really had a scripture that I lived by, read all of the time, have everywhere in my home, but in late 2013, God started showing me that everything that I thought I had lost, He would give it back to me.  It was in my dreams, thoughts, the theme of most scriptures I read...it was a real word that I needed, and still need.

Isaiah 61:1-3

New International Version (NIV)

The Year of the Lord’s Favor

61 

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

    because the Lord has anointed me

    to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

    to proclaim freedom for the captives

    and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]

2 

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

    and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

3 

    and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

    instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

    instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

    instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

    a planting of the Lord

    for the display of his splendor.

Little did I know that Beth Moore has an entire study on those very precious verses to me, Breaking Free.  I am so happy, and so excited to see what God will do through me as a result of what I learn.  So happy to get rid of some baggage, junk, mess, stuff, just ugh!  I can't wait to get rid of it!!!

So, I'm starting this new journey, with an expectant heart, knowing that something is around the corner. Whatever it is.....I know it will display His splendor.

2014!!!

Well guys….we made it!  2014 is here, and I am thrilled at the opportunity to have a fresh start, to turn the page, and start anew.

2012 and 2013 were valley years.  I learned a lot, enjoyed kicked and screamed through months of pruning, and prayed several prayers that I felt never made it past my ceiling fan.  But around September 2012, God laid a word on my heart, wrote it on anything that would stay still long enough for the ink to dry , and even had a dream about it over Thanksgiving…..RESTORATION!!!  Isn't that an awesome word!

While I haven't seen much restoration yet, I am faithful.  My faith is strong.  I know what it's like to pray and worry, and I choose to never venture that way again.  As I said goodbye to 2013, and hello to 2014 last night at church, Pastor J spoke on REBUILDING from the book of Nehemiah, which is where our first sermon series will come from.  What joy my little heart felt to know that what was on my heart was also on God's.  (As if He didn't give me the word to begin with).

I have spent so many years trying to juggle what I know God was calling me to do, and pleasing others, wondering if they approved of my actions.  But it doesn't matter to me anymore.  The only thing that matters to me is that I have a heart and life that pleases God.  That my steps are ordered by Him.  That souls come to know Him because I was obedient, and not playing it safe.  Even as I type these words, I know that there will be some things that happen, and people will judge me; sadly those that are the closest to me, but I have trusted that the Lord will perfect that which concerns me, and that is more than enough for me.

Jesus is real folks.  His love for us is real, and His commission for us is of great importance.

I love quiet times, and I love a good bible study to accompany my quiet times.  It's no secret that James is my favorite book in the Bible, and Beth Moore has a study on James!  So, guess what I'm starting 2014 off with…..yep!  JAMES!!!!  So excited!  Oh, and not to mention that it was time for a new journal….fresh starts all the way around!  I love it!!!  I have a little nook in my bedroom that I have made special just for my quiet times…I'm so proud of it.  I'll post more pictures when it's just right!  I can't wait to plaster the walls with scriptures….yes yes YES!!!

I posted in Instagram last night a little short video of highlights of 2013.  I cannot WAIT to see what 2014 holds for me.  I know that it will be exceedingly, abundantly, more than I can ask or think, and that makes me SO HAPPY!!!

Happy New Year Friends!  May His perfect will be completed in all of us this year!

Magnificent

This song just about did me in today!!  Seriously...so beautiful!  I listen to the Hillsong channel on YouTube while at work, and most days, I can barely get my work done...just wanna throw my hands up and worship...and sing REALLY, REALLY loud...and I really can't sing!


I must walk down the aisle to this on my wedding day...what a celebration that will be!  Sidenote:  I remember when we were in college, Malitta and I went to the wedding of one of my Mom's childhood friends, and she just happened to be a 40 year old virgin.  Her wedding was beautfiul, and long, but that's besides the point.  While I don't think I'll be 40 when I marry, you couldn't tell that 20 year old that I'd be single at almost 33....and it's still all good!

Enjoy this song...

 

 

Who compares to You

Who set the stars in their place
You who calmed the raging seas
That came crashing over me

Who compares to You
You who bring the morning light
The hope of all the earth
Is rest assured in Your great love

You are magnificent, Eternally
Wonderful, Glorious
Jesus, No one ever will compare
To You Jesus

When the evening fades
You call forth songs of joy
As the morning wakes
We Your children give You praise

Psalm 138:8

Have you ever had a scripture that was your scripture? You know what I mean?  It points directly to the situation you are dealing with.  It immediately quiets your fears, and stirs your heart.  It is God's little post-it note just for you...What about attending the church service and feeling like the pastor read your journal while preparing the message?  I must admit, I love when that happens.  It's like God knows the concerns of my heart, wants me to know that He hears me, and He cares about what I care about.

Psalm 138:8 has been that for me lately.

The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, 

O Lord, endureth forever: 

forsake not the works of thine on hands.

When I start to panic because I feel that I am not where I should be, I quote Psalm 138:8, when I have despair because a situation looks totally unfixable, I quote Psalm 138:8.  And do you know what happens?  I instantly feel at peace, because I know that God's got it.

But I must tell you a secret.  I have been so wishy-washy with God's plans for my life lately.  I'm not proud of it, but it's the truth.  It seems like in the same minute, I can be so resolved, so hell bent (I'm not cussing..lol), on staying the course, and seeing this thing through to the end, and poof, just like that...I'm over it...full blown temper tantrum; kicking and screaming...I don't want to do it!

Yep!  Wish I were lying to you, but I'm not...here's the story...

A couple of months ago, I was approached by my church to work on a couple of projects; namely a Youth Discipleship Program, and a Purity Program.  Now, as I sat in this meeting, my hands wrote the notes to capture the moment, but my heart and thoughts were racing...I had a smile on my face, but on the inside all of the sirens were blaring!  (Gotta love the English teacher in me..lol)

I mean on one hand, I was super excited...and by the time I had made it to my car, I was totally unconvinced.

The original deadline to have a timeline and plan of action in place was October 10th...a couple of days before SPARK, and I'll just be honest, even though something came up and my deadline was extended; I wasn't ready to do it, because I didn't want to do it...even though I know I was supposed to do it.

And I know exactly why.  I know exactly the plan I want for my life, and this little excursion, isn't in my blueprint.  Now, some of you as you read this are rolling your eyes and judging me, because you know that I will not win this battle.  I may delay the blessings that await me, I may even travel off course, but I won't win.  I know this....trust me I know, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I'd much rather be married, having my own kids, and prepping my own babies with hearts for Jesus.  I mean really Jesus, when can we move on?!  I don't want to be that girl that turns into a grown woman (even though technically I am grown, but sometimes even I question it), and never gets married because she's so wrapped up in the Kingdom business.  Does that sound just as horrible as it reads?

But seriously peeps... God love David, and his heart for Jesus, his total life committment to the things of God, but I am NO DAVID!!!

And then those words creep in...'the Lord will perfect that which concerns me...'  Even though it's not my ideal perfection...even if we take a plane instead of the nice train ride I had planned...He will take care of it.  And that is good enough...even when I don't feel it all the way to the soles of my feet, it is good enough.  It is. Yes Lord...

A paint my nails kind of day...

I don't like when people cry..it breaks my heart.  I hate when people I love have crappy things happen to them.  Life can really give you a kick in the gut sometimes...

Many times I don't know how to separate praying for someone, and not being completely paralyzed by what they have to endure.  I am a fixer.  I like to think that there is a solution to each and every problem, but I'm learning here lately that there isn't, and sometimes you just have to pray...and try not to worry.  I am a worrier.  You often won't even know, but most days I have worried myself sick over everything from the grocery list-to writing grants-to what other people think-to am I pleasing my parents...it's a MESS!  But I'm digressing....

I joked to a friend the other day that I'm in a season where random people will just want to talk to me at the most inconvenient times.  Normally when I'm rushing (which is daily), or preoccupied, (when am I not), or just because I am in my head, and trying to find a solution to some problem, and having an internal battle of paying attention to them or myself!  As you can see, I wear myself OUT!

Anyway, back to what I was saying....I've been trying to be more in the moment, and attentive to what is going on right then and there.  I feel like most of my life is spent in the future....what I have to do, didn't do, need to do, can't wait to do...don't want to do...I think you get the picture.  Sometimes I can have entire conversations with people, walk away, and have no clue what we just said.  Isn't that sad?  I apologize if you've ever had to encounter that.  I am truly trying to get better.

I know I'm not alone in thinking that if I just knew the end, I could quite possibly behave better in the middle...if only it worked liked that!  But alas! I have no clue.  I don't know how it will end when I pray for my people.  I don't know what God has in store, and I can't begin to tell you why sometimes it sucks to be a good guy...oh yes, I said it!  Nope, it doesn't always feel worth it, and NO, rarely will you not go through the fire....but I can tell you one thing...you won't smell like smoke!

I just wish I remembered that all of the time.  Because on a day like today, when I truly feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions, and worrying (yeah I know it's a sin, but I'm a sinner) about the next big whatever, I can't help but be anxious.  And today, I am anxious.  I don't know why...is something coming, will I be tested in something, or maybe it's just that I know of some heavy hearts out there, and there's nothing I can do about it...I don't know.  But I do know that Jesus is higher...and, I will paint my nails today (I do that when I'm nervous/anxious...lol!  (and drink sweet tea)!  AND PRAY!  LOL...just keeping it real peeps!

Anyway...I've got to head out...I've got a Pink meeting at the crib today, so that means I'm cooking and folding the laundry that I've ignored on the love seat for a week...later gators!

Lovin' Life!

It is October....OCTOBER!  Seriously, where did the time go?  These past few months have been interesting to say the least.  Wanna hear about it?  I'm in a place that I feel like talking.

I believe the last time we spoke, I was coming off of my 100 days of life changing, knock your socks off, Jarvis you'll never see life the same again prayer.  I know this may sound totally dramatic, and if you know me in real life, then you get it, but yes folks...I will yell from the rooftops that UNLESS you are really, really, really, really READY to lose all control, question your sanity, then 100 days of soul searching prayer is not for you...just keeping it real.

But enough about that.  What I didn't tell you was that I resigned from teaching!  Yep! I.quit.my.job!  With no income to speak of.  I officially resigned in June..but my principal and I went back and forth literally all summer about whether or not I would come back.  (I should have followed my first mind...God had already spoken...but you know me!)

Anywho...a super long story short God closed, locked, and boarded the door to me returning to teaching.  Yay right?!  This is what I wanted.  What I had talked about for a year.  But fear is a bad mamma jamma, and I panicked.  I had no job...which mean I had no money!  Sweet Jesus, what was I going to do now?

All I can say is that God has provided.  I am in a very good place, and if I have learned nothing else, I have learned to trust God at His word.  Y'all, to get up and be able to leisurely sip coffee, listen to music, and spend time with Jesus...it doesn't get any better than that.  If you ask me what's the best part of working from home, I'll tell you my quiet time.

My relationship with the Lord has deepened in a way that I never thought I could (or really wanted to) reach.  I thought those relationships were for other people...more spiritual people.  Do you have hope...?  LOL!  I am so not worthy of the favor and love, and just joy that I have.  Like, this is my life y'all!  Gym in the middle of the day...business and not so business lunches...somebody pinch me!

I love that I have time to help my family and friends, and be there when they need me.  That has been another favorite.  I can tell someone I'll pray for them, and actually get a chance to do it!  Even the bad moments are worth it knowing that I am truly in the will of God!  That's peace right there!

I have this devotional book, Jesus Calling...have you heard of it?  It's a sweet, sweet book.  Get it!  It'll knock your socks off!  The author is Sarah Young!

Well, I have written a book!  Sorry about that.  If you're still with me, bless you!  Would you do me a favor?  I have a friend (God knows exactly who she is), and her family has a long road of healing ahead of them.  Will you pray?  It takes a million years for me to share on this blog, so I dare not overstep someone else's boundaries.  The beauty in this request is that God knows who she is and what she needs.  Gotta love that!

Until next time sweet blogger friends!  (P.S.  I'll be 32 in 2 weeks...say what?!  Seriously y'all...I feel 16..HA!)

Two more days...

Back in May, I blogged about starting 100 days of prayer.  (If you'd like to go back and read that first post, click here).  It was there that I told you that I would journal openly on my blog about what that time would be like, sort of like you walking the road with me.

Well, as you can see from my lack of daily postings, I didn't quite meet that goal.  There were many days that I sat down to write, to tell you all what was going on, but it never felt right...I couldn't see my way out of it.  A new day has come, and I'd like to share nonetheless.  

I can vividly remember writing that first post.  I was at work.  I was terrified as I typed what I knew God was calling me to do.  I knew that the project would be one to bring about immense change, and I knew without a doubt that it would put a huge bulls eye on my back with new roadblocks from our supportive friend satan.  I just knew it.  I promise that it was like he was sitting on top of my computer screen daring me to hit publish, daring me to try him because he promised he'd pull out all of the stops with this one and try to knock me off of my feet for good.  I was so aware of it, that it almost kept me from embarking on this journey...but I've never been one to change course because of fear.

Let me tell you...he (little h, satan) didn't disappoint.  My life looks NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING like it did 98 days ago.  Every cliche' that you've ever heard can be applicable to the past few months; I've walked through the fire, been to hell and back, the you know what has hit the fan, learned who of my friends just like to hear themselves talk, and who really goes to the Father on my behalf, cried more tears than I thought possible, and just when I thought surely this is it, was challenged in a way that seriously had me shaking my proverbial fist at God.

So...what have the past 98 days been like you ask?  I can sum it all up in a few words...

LIFE CHANGING

DIVINE INTERRUPTIONS

DETOURS

UNBELIEVABLE

THE DISCOVERY OF THE LIFE OF JONAH

And quite possibly the most life altering, heart changing 98 days that I have ever lived.  EVER.

I promise you that if I sat here to write all that has happened, you wouldn't believe it.  Heck, I don't either, and I had a front row seat.  I have learned so much about forgiveness, God's grace, and having the heart of Christ...but instead of getting to read about it all, I was given the once in a lifetime opportunity to have the starring role.  (God knew that I wanted to be an actress...what a dream come true..ha!)

Can I just say again how I have learned who to seek wise counsel from, and who to stop talking to?!  Y'all, that is so important...some people have THE BEST intentions, but not a lick of prayer is in their answers.  Around the day 60-65 mark, I really stopped talking to a bunch of people and opted for the audience of ONE!  (I could seriously write a BOOK here...or at least devote an entire post to it).

I'll write more about this conversation on another day, but if I could pick a theme for these past few months, it would be to see people like God sees them.  Have you ever set out to accomplish that in a day?  I'll be honest, it is easy peasy with some people, and like climbing Mount Everest for others.  Lucky for me, the past 98 days were filled with Mt. Everest folk..lol!

I'll also share how Jonah and I met, and what the body of the 2012 fish looks like, because I've visited his place a time or two..I have so much to share...so bear with me as I find my new normal, and get back in the swing of things.

Two more days...

100 Days Will Change your Life!

Exactly 100 days from now is August 22, 2012.  (I hope my math is correct...if I goofed, just let me know--you know I teach English and not Math smile...)

Have you ever had an idea come to you over and over again, and it finally hits you in the head that MAYBE you should do something with it?  For the past few years, I have toyed with the notion of 100 Days of Prayer.  In the past my prayer life has been very reactionary (is that even a word), instead of proactive.  I talk to God all day long, here and there, but it has been a very long time since I have sought out His presence, carved time out of my schedule to REALLY get on my knees, and go to Him purposefully. I mean really just prayed.

One of the most beautiful things I left Baylor with was being taught how to pray.  How to go to God on behalf of myself and others, and HOW to wait and listen.  I have said this a million times, but I am FOREVER grateful for the life lessons Baylor taught me.  Way more than handing me my degree; and so much more about developing my life as a Christian and a person.  The Baylor way is real...if you are seeking Him.  I can remember the day I sat in Chapel, and really got it.  Sure I sat in Chapel many more times and rolled my eyes at the length of time I had to spend in there, but that day...Jesus and I had an exchange, and it was real!

So..here's my plan, and bear with me because I'm developing as I type:
1.  I will set aside the same time (or come very close to the same time) daily to go to God.
2.  I have very specific things I am praying about (I may not get the answer I want, but He says to ask, so hey...I'm asking)
3.  I'm taking requests...for 100 days, I won't be selfish and just pray for myself, and my list.  I want to pray for you too..
4.  I will journal openly on my blog for those 100 days.  Rest easy that if you share a private request with me, I won't use your name, or anything that could let others know it's you...trust me..what you say is in the vault.
5.  I believe with all of my heart that something will happen.  After 100 days of talking to God, spending on purpose time with Him, I'm going to change, and some things will change...isn't that exciting?! 

One of my most favorite scriptures is Exodus 14:14, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."  I can't tell you how many times I can sleep soundly knowing I've done everything right, and it still doesn't click the way I think it should....the Lord has my back...and yours too! 

So...welcome to my 100 day journey.  I really am excited about this...because I'm sure that 100 Days of Prayer can Change your Life!

~J

P.S.  If you'd like to send me a prayer request, e-mail me at noelle.daughrity@gmail.com  And remember, it's in the vault!

It's the little Things...

If I told you that I've thought about writing a million times, would you believe me?!  I partly blame the permanent residence of one iPad 2 making it into my home.  It makes it WAY too easy to not get on my laptop.  In fact, I can count on one hand how many times I've been on my laptop since August.  It's not that I can't post from my iPad, I just like to hash it all out on a conventional keyboard.

I haven't written in over 6 months.  SO MUCH has happened since then.  I hope you're my friend of Facebook, because memories are captured there.  

So let's see...how can I catch you up?  


September 2011
Pink Defying Gravity, my non profit organization hosted it's second leadership conference for girls.  It was AMAZING!!!  I wish I could put into words what it's like to have a vision from the Lord come to fruition... I can go back as far as I could dream in my journals and see written in the pages that I wanted to work with young women and help them realize their potential...that I knew God called me to a higher standard, and that I knew that He had a special plan for my life if I was just willing to submit and trust His timing.


October 2011
FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL, and more FOOTBALL!!!  


November 2011
MORE football, AND we advanced to the playoffs...  I also turned 31...which I.cannot.believe.  I still feel 20..seriously!  I also spent my last Thanksgiving with my grandfather.  


December 2011
The football games continued...BUT, it all paid off in the end because we won STATE!!!  Our team played against Cibolo Steele, at the brand new Cowboy Stadium!  It was such an awesome experience for me and the girls!  They were so excited to be there!
Also spent an amazing Christmas with my family in Mississippi.  Lots of laughs, gained pounds, gifts, and sweet family time!


January 2012
My grandfather passed away...that's how my family brought in the new year.  He was the most AWESOME man that I know.  I can say with much conviction and belief that He is rejoicing with Jesus.  I have no doubt.  


My BFF in the WORLD got married.  She was a BEAUTIFUL bride.  Her ceremony and reception was gorgeous too.  Everything about that day was her.  I remember waking up in the hotel room with her and the other girls, and we were all so excited.  We then went to breakfast in the hotel, and enjoyed a delicious buffet.  It was a perfect day!  Levi and I also caught the garter and bouquet respectively.  Well...at first I swatted the bouquet away, but we won't mention that...let's just say terror struck, and I got a little nervous...LOL!


I also started the Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University course.  I was so nervous going into this.  I've always taken the laid back approach to saving and paying down debt, but this course makes you look at every penny.  I LOVE IT!  More importantly, it teaches me how to handle money.  So many people buy things on credit, going further into debt, and that is no way to live.  While I am not debt free (car and student loans), I gave up credit cards a while ago.  If I can't purchase it outright, I don't need it.  That's what Dave teaches, but to the infinity power.  


February 2012
Well, here we are...and let's see...what am I up to?  First of all, there is a budding relationship that I am excited about.  All I will say about this is NEVER say that it will take God to get you to do something...because with the sense of humor He has, He just may take you up on it.  This relationship has shown me God's grace, forgiveness, and just that sharing your life with someone just may be the hardest thing in life, yet the most sweetest.  


AND, if you know me at all, you know how stubborn, driven, and independent I am...which has taken some adjustments when you're..you know...dating a man who wants to...LEAD...eek!  Lord help me...AND him!!  We've fasted together, which totally rocks my world...to have a man FAST with me so that we can hear God, and shut out the noise...be still my giddy heart...smile!


My most favorite thing that happened today is a dear, dear friend read a little snippet of a prayer she wrote to God a couple of months ago...it touched my heart to have friends who go to the Father on my behalf...Jesus and His followers rock my world!  I ask myself daily how I got so blessed.  I do not deserve this life, but I will live it with passion and purpose!


Tonight...I started preparing the food for my board meeting tomorrow.  I made the cupcakes tonight...I'll ice them tomorrow, and I am also making homemade pizza rolls and Caesar salad.  I can't wait.  I got the recipe for the pizza rolls off of Pinterest...which by the way...I LOVE...but it's such a time zapper!  


I'll be sure to post pictures and yes, before summer...HA!  I've missed you guys...I've missed how soothing writing is!  
Have a happy Thursday!
J

'Set Apart'

About a month ago, I was asked to speak at a Dance camp for young women for an organization that a girl from my church started. To say that I was humbled and scared is an understatement. {Be careful what you pray for....God listens...anywho...I digress...}

The organization uses Proverbs 31 as an anchor scripture, and I was asked to speak around a verse or two from this chapter. The title of my session was "Know your Worth," a topic that I feel so strongly about when it comes to pre-teen and teenaged girls.

Now, after I got over MYself, and MY fears, I think my message was relevant, and they got something out of it. For starters, girls are bombarded with images of perfect bodies, hair, teeth, skin, feet, you name it, BOYS, and the bar is so high. It can be so overwhelming to be a teenage girl in 2011...{can I just say how HAPPY I am to be an adult with all of this social media..high school would have sucked...oops can I say sucked...??}

In preparation for this devotion, I began to think back over my childhood, and what influenced the decisions I've made thus far. I'd like to share them with you...you know, because you're dying to know...

I shared with the girls, that I can recall during family prayer time my parents praying that I would be 'set apart,' and a leader...not afraid to go against the grain... (Now, depending on the day and situation, this independence totally kicked them in the butt because you know..I've been known to be a tad bit stubborn...and relentless when I think I'm right).

Anyway...I HATED the 'set apart' portion of the prayer. I didn't want to be set apart. I wanted to be a normal teenager...I wanted to sin and not care...I wanted to not feel conviction for when I mistreated people...but what can I say...my parents are good prayers...lol!

Fast forward to a set apart adult...there really isn't much difference.....it still has its ups and downs, but thankfully my very small inner circle of friends love the stubborn, slightly surly...lol, independent, faithful person that I am. As I think back, I wouldn't trade it for the world...BUT, the hardest part is the people who don't know you that well, and the silent judgment they bring.

I am not perfect, (see disclaimer below), in fact, I can probably out sin you on ANY day...

Disclaimer: I am a sinner. I fall short everyday...I can be hypocritical, mean, stubborn, jealous, gossipy...you name it, the potential is there for me to fall. I deal with loneliness, and wanting the company of a man...(I can't believe I just wrote this...lol). I don't always choose the right...sometimes I am proud of a wrong decision...REALLY proud. Speaking of said pride...I have to check myself everyday ALL DAY...and it is an uphill journey...because did I mention how stubborn I am?! I HATE having to be the bigger person 9.9 out of 10 times...I have a hard time trusting others, and am SUPER guarded...I really could go on and on...but you get the picture.

I said all of this to say...the difference between me and most, is my sin affects me in a different way. It messes me up...you know the conviction that comes with doing wrong? I can recall my godmother telling me that when I was younger and being a handful, she would just pray for God to convict my heart...seriously...worse than any punishment EVER...

But I wish I could display how much I love me some Jesus...I am nothing, NoThInG without HIM!!! My entire life's purpose is to do His work....nothing else is worth it to me...if I lost every friend on this earth, I know I could start over with Jesus...

My relationship with God is so important to me, that I can't apologize for it...I can't explain it...but there is a cost involved, and most days, I'm OK with that cost...but again, I have my disclaimer days...I can tell you though, that the cost associated with loving and living for Christ, is better than the costly mistakes I've made where He wasn't involved...can anyone relate?!?

I hope to help guide an entire generation of little set apart lives. Be it my friends, strangers, and definitely through my work with PDG....I'll leave you with this...today during church, my Pastor asked us a simple question. He said, when we get to heaven, and sit with the great soldiers from the Bible; Nehemiah, Noah, Moses, JESUS, and they began to talk about their days on earth, and the legacy they left...what would I be able to say?!? Think about that!!!

~Peace!

Broken Trust

I know-- a double post, literally within hours of each other! I can explain! I'm being tested...in the very area that I just blogged about...LOVE! Didn't know God was an ironic fella did you?!

Truthfully-- my first response was to 'set them straight.' I mean, how could you say that I said something, when I honestly didn't say it?! How could you tell a lie on me? Y'all...I loathe this type of behavior...especially in adults! It so reminds me of my high school and college days...and it makes me sad. Sad for a few reasons....one, being that I so need to work on my love. You know, the love I just spoke about. Because my initial reaction was not one born of love. I was hot, fired up...ready to blow... but... I caught myself...and called my voice of reason...the friend who helps me when this hot temper gets a little out of control.

My state of mind now....I'm still warm, and hurt...because my trust with this person is broken, and sadly...I am not as far as I thought I was...on this journey to show God's love, his redemptive, forgiving love....but in the midst of it all, I heard Him speak to me...questioning why it was OK for Him to be lied about, and not me?! OUCH!

So to sum it all up...I don't know how to correct/approach this. I don't know what I should do. All I know is that my prayer this morning was for Him to teach me to love people beyond what I am capable...and He's going to make sure He does!

Shadows!

Tonight, I went to bible study, and got to personally hug the neck of one of my most favorite teenagers...you know the one that freaked out that I wasn't there a couple of weeks ago?!

It was GREAT! I forgot how much I missed praying, listening, and talking life with those kids! I'm glad to be back. It was a bit hectic getting there with practice and Houston Rush Hour traffic, but God makes a way when it's in His will! It didn't disappoint!

I left with my cup running over. I love that feeling! Great praise and worship on the way to the church...was challenged in the message...so much so that I'm doing a little more research of my own before I go to bed. (The message came out of John 15:5 and Galatians 5:22). I want to learn more about the Fruits of the Spirit, and application of how God originally entrusted us with them...whoa...that sounds way deep, but basically, I just want to dig a little deeper..HA!

Tonight, on Facebook, my personal time trap, I ran across a status update of a dear friend of mine whom I met while working in Waco. Tomorrow, she will celebrate her 29th birthday, and her 3 year anniversary of giving her life to Jesus!

I couldn't be happier for her. I can honestly say that before giving her life to the One that makes all things new she was a GREAT person. Nice, educated, you know...had it going on, but I could tell then that she was searching for something....and she found it. Through Him. I'm sure she'll be the first to tell you that it was not overnight. In fact, I remember a time right after that where she fasted and prayed...seeking His face, and dying to self. But isn't that what we sometimes think? That because we are 'good people,' it's our ticket into the pearly gates.

I know I thought that for years...seriously! I just want to encourage anyone who is reading this blog, that if you missed the mark...over...and over again, that it's never too late to make it right. Remember that we are all sinners, but because of our desire to serve Christ, we should sin less. Thanks Pastor J!

I'm no saint! Even typing this, I cringe because I fear that I'll sound preachy or maybe even offend some of you, BUT, I know what it's like to search in empty relationships to fill a void. Giving time, energy, and your trust to someone and coming up empty handed, especially when you think you've scored BIG TIME! Or to work so hard that I drown out the life around me! It's not a good feeling at all, and sometimes, it's a long road to recovery, but I'm reminded of a line from one of my most favorite songs, "Unredeemed." The lyrics read,

We live in the shadow of the fall
But the cross says these are all
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

Oh how many times have I travelled from shadow to shadow...nursing old wounds...carrying guilt, shame, bitterness...and every other self serving emotion I can have. It's not healthy to say the least, BUT, the Bible says this: "Return to your fortress, O prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you," Zechariah 9:12, AND Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." So to me, the first scripture means I will receive double for my trouble, and the last scripture means that EVERYTHING (good and bad) I have gone through will work out for MY good....He will redeem....God said so! So a couple of weeks ago, I made the decision to step into the SONlight. No more shadows for me! I hope you will too friends!



This post has been about a little bit of everything, but I hope it helps on SOME level! God's plan is for us to live free...only we can keep ourselves bound! Congratulations T! I'm so proud of you, and the woman you've become! Your light is shining all over!!! Goodnight~!

Beauty for Ashes!

Today I had the MOST amazing day ever! NO, I did not go on a dream date, with a dream guy. NO, I did not indulge myself in shopping, finding the latest fashions. NO, I didn't win a million dollars; but TODAY, I witnessed 80 youth crowded around the throne of Jesus, broken, hungry, and truly authentic in their worship for God.

IT. WAS. AMAZING. Refreshing, encouraging, and really the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life!

Allow me to back up. This week is Youth Week at the church, and we kicked off the celebrations with a trip to Splashtown! I had so much fun. I totally acted like a big kid, and rode just about every ride. It didn't help that I worked on my tan! HA!

After the water park, the plan was to bring the kids back to the church, feed them, and prepare them for Wednesday night Bible study. Tonight's activity: a talent show that we never got the privilege of experiencing. You see, the Greatest Performer orchestrated the most beautiful talent show where kids brought their broken lives, and exchanged them for His will! Kids were at the altar, praying for one another, encouraging one another, and just laying at the feet of Jesus. I'm sure heaven paused for a minute to catch this scene.

I so wish that I could truly capture the beauty of the night. I wish I could tell you the stories that were cried out on my shoulder. Lots of tears and snot! Gotta love it...smile! I will tell you this, this current generation is considered to be lost, but tonight, about 80 youth left our church ready to spread Jesus' love and story across the world!

I am so encouraged, and what a feeling to know you are walking in the will of God! It's an amazing feeling!

P.S. I get my furniture tomorrow, so I'll be sure to post pictures! I'm SO excited!

Cover Me!

It's July 4th!!! Independence Day! I'm not really a huge 4th of July person, but I can recall great times with my family bar-b-quing, and launching fireworks...!!

This year, I'll spend with friends, and I'm looking forward to having a great time!



I must admit, that this post will be all over the place because my mind has many things it wants to write about. I spent a little time looking back over my previous posts, and I've realized a few things, 1) I'm nearing post 100, and 2) I've become so much more transparent through the years. Both excite me. Transparency is something that I'm not that good at. If you know me, I mean really know me, then I'll tell you anything, but it is extremely difficult for me to be transparent with others.

I am a very reserved, cautious, easy-going person who really doesn't like to 'lose control' by showing tons of emotion. Most of my friends cry so easily, and really know how to be in the moment....that is a struggle for me, but I secretly wish I could be just like them...shhh! I try, really I do, and I've gotten better. Hang in there with me....you never know what God has in store for me!

I've been reading Proverbs, and it has always been one of my favorite books. It contains so much wisdom, and causes you to 'check yourself,' constantly! I LOVE THAT! Often times we think it's other people, and it's the man in the mirror...sorry shameless plug! I can't wait to see what God has for me at the end of the book. I know what I want Him to do for me, but we'll see!

Oh yeah, I had a late lunch at Cheesecake Factory today, and I tried a new flavor today.... Upside Down Pineapple... oh.my.goodness!!! Heaven on a plate...craziness, just GOOOODDDD!!! I hope they never get rid of this flavor...it's definitely a keeper! I'm already planning my return trip...LOL!

I'll leave you with two things. My theme scripture, and a song that I just love! I love what the psalmist says in Psalm because really does want to talk to us. He wants to show us our purpose (more on that later), and have communion with us.

Psalm 27:8 "my heart has heard you say, 'come and talk with me.' And my heart responds, 'Lord, I am coming.'" This is the NLT version if you're wondering...I posted a few months back, and I was reminded tonight when He calls, and we answer, all is well...

The video: "Cover Me," by 21:03 in collaboration with Smokie Norful, J Moss, and my fave Fred Hammond!!! I LOVE THIS SONG!!!



Happy 4th!

A Call To Die...

Drastic title I know, but follow me. Let's see, where do I begin? I've been complacent, lackadaisical, indifferent...BLAH! I don't know if you've ever felt like your life was good, but you were just sitting idle..not going backwards, but not moving forwards?! Well, this was me up until yesterday.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not depressed, sad, or unhappy...quite the contrary...I'm joyful! I'm expectant, and I'm excited. God has been drawing me, and calling me for a LONG time to let it all go, and for so long, I couldn't/wouldn't...partly out of disobedience, but mostly out of fear, and not really knowing what to let go....until TODAY!!!

I was literally going all around town to find this devotional that the singles are studying at my church, A Call to Die, and I couldn't find it. I was talking to a friend while looking, and it dawned on me that God has been persistently pursuing me, and I've listened, and not really answered. I mean, we've communed, but I haven't laid it all down...if you will.

I know this is scattered, but do your best to follow me. I have a desire that I feel comes from the Lord to minister to young girls about sexual purity. Not because I feel like an expert on the subject, and definitely not because I feel that I am worthy, but because I feel that God has called me, and my heart can do nothing but answer him. If you want the truth, I really hesitated because I feel as though I can't add anything else to my already full plate. BUT GOD! He's not concerned with my plans for my life...only HIS plan! Let me tell you how God works...a few days ago, I posted a verse as my Facebook status, and I had NO IDEA the implications that would follow. The verse was: Psalm 27:8 "my heart has heard you say, 'come and talk with me.' And my heart responds, 'Lord, I am coming.'" This is the NLT version if you're wondering....I've pondered over this verse since reading this translation, and I feel that God was preparing my heart to receive His agenda, and not my own.

To be honest, I was about to start some projects that I felt a release to start, but as of now, I'm waiting on the Lord for His response. So back to the conversation...I'm feeling like I've on skimmed the surface of the power of God that I hold. I use my prayer and faith as though it's a rationed item, sparingly, and as needed, but that's not God's ideal will. He wants me to seek His face, speak with Him, run it by Him, cry out to Him! I can't do anything but stand in awe...that little 'ole me would be called to disciple His people. I am so undeserving, and under equipped, but with God, I am powerful, and mighty.

So friends, I need your prayers. I don't know the ins and outs, I don't know the logistics, but I know that I've answered the call, and that I'm more than willing to pour into lives just as mine own life was molded into His likeness by women of the church who cared enough to share. Please seek His face with me on specifically: wisdom, maturity, and the place to serve. I can't wait to share this journey with you, and to see where God takes me! Goodnight!

Overwhelmed?!

So today, I have had this overwhelmingly awesome feeling. Don't know what it's about, but glad to be the one that gets to experience it. Don't worry though..it's a GREAT feeling, and one of expectancy. The possibilities with God are endless, and one thing I've learned hopefully for the last time is that God will not be put off by our desires. He gets His way, whether we go willingly or unwillingly...thank goodness God is a gracious God!

Be Ready!

My heart is really full tonight. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm pretty sure God is about to do something major and long awaited. Not necessarily for me, maybe for you....are you ready?

I'm thankful tonight that God answers prayers. I'm thankful that when you don't know what to say, He does. I'm thankful that God pursues us even when we are so undeserving. I'm really just thankful...for everything! Until tomorrow ~J