Monday, March 9, 2009

A Call To Die...

Drastic title I know, but follow me. Let's see, where do I begin? I've been complacent, lackadaisical, indifferent...BLAH! I don't know if you've ever felt like your life was good, but you were just sitting idle..not going backwards, but not moving forwards?! Well, this was me up until yesterday.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not depressed, sad, or unhappy...quite the contrary...I'm joyful! I'm expectant, and I'm excited. God has been drawing me, and calling me for a LONG time to let it all go, and for so long, I couldn't/wouldn't...partly out of disobedience, but mostly out of fear, and not really knowing what to let go....until TODAY!!!

I was literally going all around town to find this devotional that the singles are studying at my church, A Call to Die, and I couldn't find it. I was talking to a friend while looking, and it dawned on me that God has been persistently pursuing me, and I've listened, and not really answered. I mean, we've communed, but I haven't laid it all down...if you will.

I know this is scattered, but do your best to follow me. I have a desire that I feel comes from the Lord to minister to young girls about sexual purity. Not because I feel like an expert on the subject, and definitely not because I feel that I am worthy, but because I feel that God has called me, and my heart can do nothing but answer him. If you want the truth, I really hesitated because I feel as though I can't add anything else to my already full plate. BUT GOD! He's not concerned with my plans for my life...only HIS plan! Let me tell you how God works...a few days ago, I posted a verse as my Facebook status, and I had NO IDEA the implications that would follow. The verse was: Psalm 27:8 "my heart has heard you say, 'come and talk with me.' And my heart responds, 'Lord, I am coming.'" This is the NLT version if you're wondering....I've pondered over this verse since reading this translation, and I feel that God was preparing my heart to receive His agenda, and not my own.

To be honest, I was about to start some projects that I felt a release to start, but as of now, I'm waiting on the Lord for His response. So back to the conversation...I'm feeling like I've on skimmed the surface of the power of God that I hold. I use my prayer and faith as though it's a rationed item, sparingly, and as needed, but that's not God's ideal will. He wants me to seek His face, speak with Him, run it by Him, cry out to Him! I can't do anything but stand in awe...that little 'ole me would be called to disciple His people. I am so undeserving, and under equipped, but with God, I am powerful, and mighty.

So friends, I need your prayers. I don't know the ins and outs, I don't know the logistics, but I know that I've answered the call, and that I'm more than willing to pour into lives just as mine own life was molded into His likeness by women of the church who cared enough to share. Please seek His face with me on specifically: wisdom, maturity, and the place to serve. I can't wait to share this journey with you, and to see where God takes me! Goodnight!