Sunday, August 26, 2012

My New Normal!

Hey there!
So, the 100 days of prayer is over, and I must admit, I thought that there would be a harp playing when I awoke that morning, or something else celestial in nature, but nope...not a thing.

Dare I say that I also thought that every prayer, issue, and tender space that concerned my heart would automatically make sense, and 'fix itself.'  Yeah...that didn't happen either.

Remember when I told you that my life looks nothing like it did 100 days ago?  Well, I wasn't exaggerating.  I am no longer a teacher by paid profession.  It is so weird to even type those words.  Someone who fought tooth and nail to NOT become a teacher because I never really wanted to teach, to become someone who truly loved and enjoyed interacting with students, being a light, and loving God in the starting a non-profit that has taken off, to now working said non-profit full time...totally trusting God in the process, believing for bigger and better, and sitting on a TON OF FEAR!

This is new for me.  I don't mind working.  I am the person that goes to work sick.  I used the majority of my sick days as travel days...shhhh!!  I consider myself to have a strong work ethic.  I give 100000000% of myself to my job.  I'm a kidding, but you get the picture!  So this last week and a half has been filled with tons of questions, like what the heck do I do now?!

Theoretically speaking I write grants and plan our programming, but it has been a learning curve going from 12-13 hour days to working from home.  I am so out of my league.

While sometimes I forget, I know that at the end of each day I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and I am working towards the new normal that the Lord has called me to.  As scary as this time is, a new story will definitely become mine.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Two more days...

Back in May, I blogged about starting 100 days of prayer.  (If you'd like to go back and read that first post, click here).  It was there that I told you that I would journal openly on my blog about what that time would be like, sort of like you walking the road with me.

Well, as you can see from my lack of daily postings, I didn't quite meet that goal.  There were many days that I sat down to write, to tell you all what was going on, but it never felt right...I couldn't see my way out of it.  A new day has come, and I'd like to share nonetheless.  

I can vividly remember writing that first post.  I was at work.  I was terrified as I typed what I knew God was calling me to do.  I knew that the project would be one to bring about immense change, and I knew without a doubt that it would put a huge bulls eye on my back with new roadblocks from our supportive friend satan.  I just knew it.  I promise that it was like he was sitting on top of my computer screen daring me to hit publish, daring me to try him because he promised he'd pull out all of the stops with this one and try to knock me off of my feet for good.  I was so aware of it, that it almost kept me from embarking on this journey...but I've never been one to change course because of fear.

Let me tell you...he (little h, satan) didn't disappoint.  My life looks NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING like it did 98 days ago.  Every cliche' that you've ever heard can be applicable to the past few months; I've walked through the fire, been to hell and back, the you know what has hit the fan, learned who of my friends just like to hear themselves talk, and who really goes to the Father on my behalf, cried more tears than I thought possible, and just when I thought surely this is it, was challenged in a way that seriously had me shaking my proverbial fist at God.

So...what have the past 98 days been like you ask?  I can sum it all up in a few words...






And quite possibly the most life altering, heart changing 98 days that I have ever lived.  EVER.

I promise you that if I sat here to write all that has happened, you wouldn't believe it.  Heck, I don't either, and I had a front row seat.  I have learned so much about forgiveness, God's grace, and having the heart of Christ...but instead of getting to read about it all, I was given the once in a lifetime opportunity to have the starring role.  (God knew that I wanted to be an actress...what a dream come true..ha!)

Can I just say again how I have learned who to seek wise counsel from, and who to stop talking to?!  Y'all, that is so important...some people have THE BEST intentions, but not a lick of prayer is in their answers.  Around the day 60-65 mark, I really stopped talking to a bunch of people and opted for the audience of ONE!  (I could seriously write a BOOK here...or at least devote an entire post to it).

I'll write more about this conversation on another day, but if I could pick a theme for these past few months, it would be to see people like God sees them.  Have you ever set out to accomplish that in a day?  I'll be honest, it is easy peasy with some people, and like climbing Mount Everest for others.  Lucky for me, the past 98 days were filled with Mt. Everest!

I'll also share how Jonah and I met, and what the body of the 2012 fish looks like, because I've visited his place a time or two..I have so much to bear with me as I find my new normal, and get back in the swing of things.

Two more days...