Friday, January 7, 2011

What if.....

I never get married????? There I said it....I've written it in print for all of the world to you, yes YOU can say that you know the burning question that burdens my thoughts at least a squillion times a day...Don't believe me...really, it's just that many. And, I've found those thoughts to be sneaky suckers too. They pop up into the most random places.

I have to offer this disclaimer....I'm not waiting for a man to come rescue me. My life is not on hold, and yes, I am fully aware that when the timing is right, God will send him to me...I GET THAT! If I were honest, I'd tell you that my life is quite the opposite. I work my fingers to the bone, clocking sometimes 14 hour work days, am juggling a very active social life, and a Master's program, gearing up for my Ed.D program, filling out a charter school app (more on that later), and still focused on creating my non-profit, but well you know the rest. With all of that being said, it doesn't stop my mind from going there. Especially when I'm getting a little older each year, if you catch my drift. Oh, and by the way, I have happened to have read the story of Sarah, and how God blessed her with a baby in her 80s....really people, do you think that makes it better that my singleness is being compared to a biblical miracle....I'm laughing just as I type this! Oh the things people say~!

I guess my purpose of this post is in the last few months, I have encountered many Christian, beautiful, successful, sweet women, from ALL different races who are single, and ready to mingle...sorry, I had to do it! And I want to know why?! Not necessarily from Him, but just why. Why is it that it happens for some, and not for others? I guess the answer to this question is right along side the cure for the common cold.

I'd also be lying to you if I didn't admit that being single at this age makes me ask myself what's wrong with me? I can already hear my good hearted friends yelling at your computers that this is a trick of the enemy, and I am inclined to agree with you, but I am human, and I am/have been guilty of wondering if I am the issue.

You should see the poor look in my mother's eyes when she says, do you have any prospects? Poor thing...she wants grandbabies so badly...and I guess she doesn't get it either...

Oh, and I've heard all of the 'advice', but how about we re-visit for a good laugh:
-you need to get out more (I'm at home to sleep and shower)
-use this time to get closer to God (as if there is a measurement, and everyone knows it but me)
-allow Jesus to be your man (this one puzzles me the most)
-when you're least expecting it, it'll happen (tried that...still single)
-there is so much for you to accomplish as a single... (YES! using this to my advantage)
-you're so pretty...I don't see why you aren't dating (uhh...thanks)
-you're just too picky (maybe, but I'm picky with my fruit too...what can I say?!)
-and my all time favorite from the person who knows me best...J, I really have no clue... (sigh)

I have sincere joy for each person in my life that has found their personal love story...honest to goodness truth here...I'd just like to double date sometimes too! Now before you order my straight jacket...I don't need it...just sharing what's on the need to panic!'s to a hopeful (or maybe I shouldn't be hopeful for fear of ruining the 'least expecting it' element) 2011. Lots of great stuff going on already, and so much to be thankful for..and truly I am...but again, there are those times...

Happy Friday friends!