Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Just Enough...

One day, I happened across this blog, and immediately fell in love with the writer's words.  I remember going all the way to the beginning of her blog, and reading each post, one by one.  The author's love for Christ was evident.  She epitomized the scripture, "delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." 

I remember reading her posts, which often times were prayers, and her thoughts straight to Jesus, and thinking would I ever be like that.  Would I ever be completely content with where I was, and you know, be!  I remember asking myself that question, and I remember hearing an answer that at the time, I wasn't pepared to hear.  It was as if I had read that blog so that I could get a glimpse of where God wanted to take me, but you see...I didn't want to go.  I have alwasy struggled with releasing control, being totally dependent on Him, and just relishing in His glory...And so, I cooled my feet on the corner of Defiance Blvd., and I've Got a Better Plan Way and here I've been ever since...HA!

At the time, I felt that my walk was ok, that I didn't really need to be so engulfed with Him (I'm so embarrassed to type that), that I would move to the next level (whatever that is...) doing just enough.  I wanted God to take stock of my life, see that I went through the motions, be pleased with what He saw, and bless me indeed.  I'm just being honest here.  I wanted all of that, but I wasn't willing to pay the cost.

I distinctly remember hearing God tell me that He wanted it all, and I distinctly remember acting like I didn't hear it.....isn't that the CRAZIEST thing ever?!  I'm laughing at myself....silly J!

So, here I am...probably two years later, and God still wants what He wants!  He's not letting me off of the hook, and I am ridiculous for thinking I could get around it.  BUT, in my defense, as weak as it is, I am ready, and until you're ready, you're not!  LOL!

"You chose this "situation", you thought it was what I wanted child, but you chose this, now choose to return to me fully and I will retrain your every thought and action so that YOU LIVE IN FREEDOM!"

I'm sure you guys are much smarter for reading this...and if you're still with me, bless your heart!  Thanks for letting me share!

In other news, this weekend, I am headed to WACO for Baylor's Homecoming this weekend, and I am SO PUMPED!!!!  Like really, really, really, really excited!  I neeeeeeed to get away!  I need to spend some time with friends that I haven't seen in a really long time!  I'm even looking forward to the!  I'll be sure to post pics since my last few posts have been so wordy! 

Have a great rest of the week!


P.S.  If you want to read the post that I'm referring to.... click here!  Caroline's story is only God can do!